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[Oct. 5th, 2006|08:31 pm] |
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I just signed the lease for our fancy palace downtown....I don't think it's sunk in yet, so i'm actually gonna come back and write about it in a few hours after pondering. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 31st, 2006|05:08 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  blank | ] |
Sleep is for the rested.
After a while everything starts to meld, sound becomes colours.
You feel both sadpy and conmiserabletent at the same time.
I suppose as contradictory as those to things are they just tend to amount to nothing.
I feel like nothing.
The first of the four dimesions just kind of liquify into a big blobby mess.
I liquify too, and begin to spread thin. Like margarine on toast.
The doctors still aren't sure if magarine is healthier than butter. I'm curious about that.
Magarine is made of a lot of the same stuff as plastic. I tried wrapping my lunch in it. I just got magarine all over the place.
I just stared into space for exactly 3 minutes. It's gotten boring, staring into space. I'd like to stare out of space sometime soon.
Question marks are explanation marks with no self confidence.
? - Why's life always getting me down? ! - Shut the fuck up you.
My good sense is telling me it's time to finish this. I'm gonna trust it because my bad sense keeps letting me down.
Gnite All.
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 20th, 2006|02:12 am] |
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Still waiting for my moment... |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 9th, 2006|02:01 am] |
I'm so tired it feels like I'm on mind altering drugs.
What a killer buzz.
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 8th, 2006|05:16 pm] |
So , I've ben driving the work car at Bullet for a couple months now, it's nice, feels like it has some power. So last night for the first time I thought I'd see what it could do and peeled out of the parking lot of the place I deliver tapes to every shift......and almost hit a cat with two baby cats.
The moral?
Working kills kittens. |
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| I'm on salary now ... |
[Jul. 30th, 2006|12:55 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  discontent | ] |
Flaps closed....check.
Taped shut......check.
Wallet, watch , deodorant, toothbrush....check.
Seems like I'm good to go. Lying down the cardboasrd is more comfortable than I imagined, must be corregated. Life's not so bad in here. It's comfortable, it's warm, I'm generally protected from the elements. Though the air is a little musty, it's mostly predictable. Mmmmm I could get used to this. Dark though, I'll just grab my....
Shit.
The flashlight, I must've left it outside. What am I gonna do now... ok well there always...the knife too. I forgot the fucking knife too. Son of a bitch. What else did I leave out there?
* * *
It's starting to feel smaller in here. My claustrophobia rises as the air becomes more recycled , more dank from the moisture of my panicked breath. The more I think about it , it's not the flashlight or the knife I left out there, it's fresh air, sunlight , possibility, unsurity, everything that is beautiful. I miss them greatly, I miss turning corners, instead surrounded by them, suffocated by them. Sure I'm safe in here, safe from the elements, safe from failure safe from risk. But am I safe from myself. It sure is hard to see the sun rise in Paris from here without the flashlight.
And fuck, I shouldn't have forgotten the knife. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 3rd, 2006|07:16 pm] |
My name is Charlie :
*I don't post very often anymore.
* I'm officially finished college and a member of the real world.
* The real world is an admitedly frightening and disorienting place.
* I leave two hours early for work everyday. I work in Toronto.
* 8 hours sleep - 2 hours travel = 6 hrs sleep all the time.= Tired.
* I enjoy my job greatly.
* I enjoy not having lifted a table in over a year.
* I am terribly out of shape as a result.
* I ride my bike often now.
* Riding bikes makes you feel like your 9 years old.
* I miss being 9 years old.
* I miss my puppy dog.
* Maybe when I move out I can get a new one.
* I'm moving out a soon as I can.
* I need to figure out my priorities.
* Priorities are a frightening and disorienting thing.
* So is life.
* I'm done. |
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| End of an Era... |
[Apr. 14th, 2006|03:48 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  drunk | ] |
Wow....college is almost over...like one week from over. All those faces gone...all those places and experiences gone. It's really tough to absorb it all. I dont know if I'm ready to leave, but going back to school is of course senseless as it's the people I'll miss more than anything. Welcome to life, time to be caught in the tide, dragged away by the surf, devoured by the sea of who knows. I'll miss these days, but they'll always hold close to my heart. Media fest was tonight, I took a few awards, that was kool, maybe the last time I'll see alot of these folks though , one more week of school and it's all done, truly the end of a great era. *le sigh* |
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| thing i stole from hanna cuz i cant fall asleep |
[Mar. 26th, 2006|11:24 pm] |
Stolen from Myspace. Fun Music Survey. Comment here with YOUR results.
Open iTunes, Winamp or Windows Media Player to answer the following. Go to your library. Answer, no matter how embarrassing it is... Make sure you do it honestly, nobody will judge you from what kind of music your listening to, it can be quite fun.
Total songs: 225, i like to keep my machine running pretty lean.
Sort by Song
First song: The Great Gig in the Sky- Pink Floyd
Last song: X.Y.U. - Smashing Pumpkins
Sort by Time
Shortest song: On/Off - Daft Punk (0:19)
Longest song: Shine On you Crazy Diamond (1-5)- Pink Floyd (17:32)
Sort by Artist
First Artist: Anberlin
Last Artist: VHS or Beta
Sort by Album
First Album: The B-52's (it's self titled)
Last Album: You Forgot it in People - Broken Social Scene
Sort by Most Played –
I dunno, I usually use Winamp.
Search the keyword and see how many songs appear
"Sex": 0
"Death": 9
"Love": 3
"You": 23
"Me": Everything on my list came up...odd. I’m confused too.
''Drugs'': 0
''Hate'': 0
Search for your own name, how many?: 0
Do The Shuffle!
Shuffle your library and list the first ten songs. Be honest!
1. sorrow - pink floyd
2. the game needed me - minus the bear
3. The tide - the spill canvas
4.Shampoo Suicide - Broken social scene
5. Prime time of your life - daft punk
6. steam machine - daft punk
7. this ain't a surfin' movie - minus the bear
8. we only com eout at night - smashing pumpkins
9. phone home - the dillenger escape plan
10. when worlds collide - the jimmy swift band |
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| hmmmm... |
[Mar. 15th, 2006|02:21 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
Invalid video URL. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 3rd, 2006|12:43 am] |
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I want to wander forever on an island of mist where the wind sings sweet hymns to troubled souls. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 1st, 2006|12:06 am] |
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FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK STOP PROCRASTINATING YOU BASTARD...that kinda worked...now to get stuff done...at 12:08am.....shit. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 11th, 2006|12:53 am] |
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IF life is just a series of moments in rapid succession are we finding our selves in perpetual free fall, like a row dominoes falling , stakcing moment upon moment to the point where we no longer see the their value until they're spread behind us on the floor of the past. Or is it more like a car blasting down a highway at top speed , picking interchange after interchange to push further towards it's destination, and if so are we the drivers? |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 2nd, 2006|10:39 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  thoughtful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Broken Social Scene- Looks Like the Sun | ] |
While riding my steam ship through the outermost stars of the milky way I met a man named Hope.
Hope: "Greetings"
Me: " You know there's a lot of people looking for you, what're you doing all the way out here?"
Hope: "Well they could find me if they wanted to. I'm not hard to reach"
He flashes warn out old cell phone at me.
Hope: " But I mean, what would happen then?"
Me: " Well, they'd stop looking I suppose."
Hope : " Sad thing that'd be...... You take care now."
With that Hope vanished with a starry explosion into the cosmos. Dusting off my trousers I hopped back aboard my steam ship. With a thankful sigh of releif I carried on, I had almost given up searchng.
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 16th, 2006|08:59 pm] |
If the last 12 months could be scarred by anything it's the loved ones I've lost. My grandma passed in July, I miss her deeply, the holidays just aren't the same without her, I miss the small talk over the phone and the visits, but I've become to come to terms with it.
Now it's happened again, we had to put Brandi down to day, I haven't really had a chance to process it all , I can feel that terrible pit of your stomach sadness sinking in but I'm fighting it the best I can. I had to come out to Toronto today for co-op, I wish I could've have been there to support my family, spend a little more time with my puppy, but that's life I guess. She was too old, far too sick, it wouldnt have been right to let it continue, put her through pain. It's strange though she had so much spunk , she still would play and fight right until the end. She was such a happy though slightly neurotic dog lol. I'm gonna miss her alot. *sigh* Well, *raises glass* this one's for you pup, we'll miss ya.
Brandi <3 |
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| For the greater good... |
[Nov. 24th, 2005|02:10 am] |
You fit in with:
Humanism
Your ideals mostly resemble that of a Humanist. Although you do not have a lot of faith, you are devoted to making this world better, in the short time that you have to live. Humanists do not generally believe in an afterlife, and therefore, are committed to making the world a better place for themselves and future generations.
20% spiritual.
60% reason-oriented.
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Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com
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| So endeth the battle , but not the war. |
[Nov. 22nd, 2005|11:09 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  relieved | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Dayvan Cowboy- Boards of Canada | ] |
So, shooting is FINALLY complete on Sagacity, the short film I'm doing for school. Sure we've got a voice over or two to capture still but the big difficult stuff is out of the way. I feel like a big weight has been lifted off my shoulders, shoots require so much organization between actors and crew and extras and locations and equipment availability and all that sort of crap. So much work before you get to the location, making sure you get all the shots you need, that it's all in context and that it all looks good. Don't get me wrong I love shooting, just don't dig the planning, not my bag.
Editing starts up next week, which is exciting, I look forward to seeing all the random shots we've captured come together into something that actually flows and makes sense. The whole thing has to be done on December 12th so it's coming down to the wire, but I think we'll be fine. Afterward Zach and I are gonna have a big screening party, not sure when yet, so if you're interested lemme know.
Well, I better get to sleep , I've got news in the morning and I'm sure the journalism kids will have something boring and mundane for me to shoot, maybe some street signs or something. *shudder*
Night all. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 11th, 2005|02:59 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  confused | ] |
Alright so alie and I had a talk last night.
We ended up deciding not to totally end it, neither of us felt comfortable with it after a couple days of letting it soak in.
I did however explain to her that I just need more space , so we're gonna keep things more casual for the time being, which is more what i wanted, i just want to live like i'm single-ish for a while (well minus the girls) and not lose her, i do care alot about that girl. I guess we'll see what happens from here on out. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 9th, 2005|02:45 am] |
I feel like the most vile evil prick right now.
I've never done anything this hard in my entire life.
Alie and I broke up , its my fault.
I just want to be single right now, I need some space to float where th wind takes me. There's alot of opportunity on the horizon. I don't want to be some dick boyfriend who neglects their girlfriend because he has other things on his mind, thats why I've done this.
It killed me to see her hurt, it killed me to say the word, god damn i mean she still means so much to me and to cause that pain was like stabbing myself in the back. I fear so intensely that I'll wake up and regret it all, I fear so intesnsely that nothing can be turned back if do, that I may have fucked up something great, I fear that so much.
But it's done and over with and all I feel like is shit.....so what does that mean?
I really am a fucking asshole, aren't I? |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 30th, 2005|01:33 am] |
Why is it the heart plays mind games with the soul?
I'm not writing in code.
It's more that I'm not even sure what I'm typing.
I need guidance. |
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